Wade Tries to Learn a New Language
by icarusforgotten
Summary: Peter walked in one night on Wade leaning heavily into the computer screen, eyes narrowed in concentration, lips quivering in a broken rhythm. [for Mery]


Peter walked in one night on Wade leaning heavily into the computer screen, eyes narrowed in concentration, lips quivering in a broken rhythm. The volume was low, but Peter could hear the computer, in a robotic and reminiscently feminine voice, saying things in a language that he could not recognize, and Wade repeating (or, trying to, rather) words of that language. Curious, Peter came to sit beside Wade on the couch and peered at the screen, leaning his head on Wade's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I was out on patrol, not killing people like you asked me too, though there was this one guy – hey, why are you looking at me like that, I didn't kill him! He was being a dick to this sweet old grandma, I just cut his arm off. He didn't bleed _that_ much, trust me, I've seen _way_ more blood from lesser injuries, he's totally going to survive and all." Wade turned to Peter with a cheeky grin, and Peter rubbed his fingers over his eyes, inhaling deeply to calm his nerves, because really, this was Deadpool, and it actually was progress from his previous state of being. Peter smoothed his expression out and gave Wade a reassuring smile, thinking that he'd have to sit with him again to have another lecture on the ethics of weapon use and abuse. Especially towards civilians – at least, Peter assumed Wade was referring to a civilian, since villains would most likely do a little bit more than 'be a dick' towards an elderly woman.

"So, what does this have to do with … " Peter trailed off, waving his hand between the computer screen and Wade.

"Well, you _could_ have let me finish, Petey. It's rude to interrupt you know. The author wouldn't approve – she has science papers and other boring shit like that to write (yeah, kind of like you Petey!) and it's like four thirty in the morning, so she'd appreciate if you'd let me finish, even though she's awake now because she had like five cups of coffee while working on this one assignment and a lot of pizza before going to bed and now can't sleep, and the humidity is also keeping her awake and –"

"Wade, you're not making any sense at all. What does homework and pizza have to do with _this_? And I'm not entirely sure, but was that your way of mocking me?"

"No, no baby boy! You're smarter and look way better in tights. Damn, with your tight ass, you'd look good in just about anything."

Peter sighed. "Wade, focus."

"Right. So the grandma was with this girl, and they were speaking this language together, and the girl had this hot, smoky voice, and it sounded so sexy when she was talking, so I asked her what language they were speaking in, and she told me, and now I'm learning it."

"I hope you realize that you just conveyed this in an awful run-on sentence."

"Yeah, I know, but the author is tired and doesn't really give a fuck. And I agree, I just want to get to the smut."

Peter didn't know what to do, so he started laughing quietly, patting Wade's thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Well, I still don't know what language this is."

"It's Polish! Sounds cool but the grammar's a bitch. Makes more sense than English though, since it's consistent and all. Sometimes English can be so random, you know? Mouse and mice; house and houses. It's like whoever came up with this was drunk and just decided to troll everyone when they made the rule book of English, and now they're probably getting a kick out of people questioning this shit. Well, they're probably _dead_, but you know what I mean."

Peter leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes. Sometimes he really wondered if Wade was just doing this to mess around with Peter. He knew that Wade had a lot of internal issues that probably needed to be attended to by a psychologist – and who could blame him, with all the shit he went through in his life? – but when Wade started talking about things like grammar and comparing houses to mice … that had to be some sort of sarcasm directed at Peter for being nerdy, right?

When he felt a hand smoothing over his hair and his eyebrow, he opened his eyes, and right away, guilt flooded his system because he could see uncertainty and a very small, almost hidden, speck of fear in Wade's eyes. "Pete? Am I being overwhelming and … what did you call it before … _asinine_, again?"

Peter grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers and squeezing tight, and smiled up sincerely at Wade until he started to fidget and look away. "No," Peter lied. Though it really wasn't a lie, because Wade was Wade, and no matter what stupidity flooded his head, Peter still loved him. And really, he was a genuinely unique person, and that made some of his antics all the more tolerable. Because he didn't think that he'd have Wade any other way. Sure, he screwed up from time to time, but hey, who didn't? He put in the effort to become a better person, more so for Peter's sake than for his own, he eventually realized, and that made moments like these all the more guilt-inducing for Peter. Sometimes, when he wondered who the bigger asshole was in the relationship, he found that he didn't have to look further than his own reflection. But hey, who didn't screw up from time to time, right?

"I was just wondering how the language would sound. Have you learned enough to offer me a demonstration?"

Wade turned back to him, heavy smirk set in place and eyes heated with mischief. He traced his finger from the junction of Peter's ear and jaw, down his neck and across his collar bone. His other hand grabbed Peter's hip and pivoted him towards himself, leaning in to trail his lips under Peter's ear.

"_Podlewasz mojego różowego słonia_,[1]", he murmured, voice thick and heavy in Peter's ear. A jolt ran down Peter's spine, and he leaned closer into Wade, resting his mouth at the crook of Wade's neck.

"Tell me more," he whispered, mouthing the words across Wade's skin. Calloused fingers found their way under the hem of Peter's shirt, and he let out a soft gasp as they began to trail up his flesh, barely touching, the teasing leaving a wanton _burning_ that drew Peter closer as he moulded his body against Wade's, adjusting his hips so that he was nearly straddling him on the couch.

Wade placed his hands on Peter's hips and positioned him so that he was sitting atop Wade's waist, pulling him downwards as he rolled his hips up, and Peter could feel himself quickly becoming hard. He could feel Wade getting hard as well, pace more furious now, and it felt glorious coupled with Wade's teeth and tongue mapping out his neck. Wade brought his lips to Peter's ear, hot breath raising the hairs on his nape, and whispered "_ miesiączka ma kota w budynku_[2]_"._

Peter gripped Wade's shoulders, bracing himself as he ground his hips forcefully into Wade's, feeling harder and needier at Wade's voice in his ear, at the seductive drawl of the language. God, he was so close now. Wade could feel it, he knew, because suddenly his tongue stroked over the sensitive shell of his ear, and his fingers caressed over the trembling muscles of the small of his back, all the while drawling out more foreign syllables. He had Peter moaning and coming harder than he should have, coming to the sultry cadence of Wade's voice, screaming Wade's name as he buried his forehead in the crook of Wade's neck.

He couldn't feel Wade's hardness anymore, though had no recollection whatsoever of Wade orgasming. Damn, he must have been so far lost in his own pleasures, because Wade was _loud_. He made his desires _known_.

"What – what were you saying?" Peter was breathless, and he could feel Wade laughing smugly beneath him.

"I have no fucking clue – I was just putting together random words I learned." After a moment he thoughtfully added, "and I _still_ made you come! So quickly too."

Peter leaned further into Wade and gave him a half-hearted smack to the shoulder.

"But I was hoping it was something close to 'I love you'."

Peter raised his head and pressed a soft, linger kiss to Wade's lips. "I love you too," he said. And the happiness in Wade's eyes stopped his heart for a moment, before it started up again erratically.

* * *

[1] You are watering my pink elephant

[2] Menstruation has a cat in the building

_huge thanks to Mery (thanksillpass/deepship/buttwade) for editing my Polish_


End file.
